Never whine on a journal/typepad/blog or whatever

Sometimes when I go "surfing" it never fails to see a
abundance of whining and self absorbed hipsters who
whine about their life to you in such a sad and
desperate plea for attention. Sometimes I even think
they create their own comments because I just can't
see someone registering to comment on such obvious
social manipulation and insecurity pap on display
24-7.

I often think to myself, "In this world it's
imperative to know when to stop" And those that don't
just go off the rails with pointless meanderings and
mentions of nothing in particular falling into the pit
of madness,despair and .

Then there are those who "LIE". Liars on the net are
endless in supply and it's easy to spot one out and
quite amusing. Look for alot of pictures on Flickr or
someone who says they owns a "COMPANY" and has alot
"Friends" on myspace and comments endlessly on other
myspace pages. If you have over 10,000 friends, you
might suffer from this symptom.

One of the worst of the bunch is the fashionista
whiner. This is someone who opens up style/culture
magazines/publications/websites and whatever "appears"
to be cool,he mimes it ad nauseam via photos,behaviour
habits,poses and lifestyle and then whines about
people not being original. The nerve of this asshole
knows no bounds. It's mindbending how they miss the
utter punchline to the sad realization of "them".

It's always sad when someone dresses like a 8th rate
bootleg /El-P/Phife or Qtip/Common with his Yarn
kufi/Pharrel williams/J-Dilla and squints his eyes &
pouts his lips like he is "the dog's bollocks". It's
like no one told him that he's so artificial and
plastic ala the cheap polymer kind found in Taiwan
products. Got Polymer? You do,Phony Williams

I know what you are thinking, "Wow you are being too
hard on people." No, I am not. These people prey on
others like the cultural sociopath parasites that they
are. And while you take a interest in them they are
scheming on ways to manipulate you and somehow
capitalize on you. There are obvious "Tells" though so
you can beat them to the punch.

1) People who whine about their life to make it seem
like they are "Sensitive" and "Understanding" and
"Spiritual"

This is just a way to troll for "Chicks" Girls, don't
fall for that crap. That guy is a stalker and probably
you will see him on America's most wanted because he
went too far trying to ream you with his digital
camera . And if you are a girl who uses this for
"Attention crutch" watch out for the "sensitive
rapist/psychopaths/predators" (And I'm not talking
about the Arnie "Predator" either)

2) People with extreme fixations on someone in
particular and it's peppered endlessly in their
writings.

"I called So n So but I got no answer. I am thinking
of getting a Rifle with a infared scope and
tranquilizing him/her. I don't need her in my life
right now but I feel compelled to show how deeply I
care for her. I wonder sometimes what Camoflauge based
paint I should use to canvas myself into the
background. Should I go for Military Green or
Terrorist Teal?

I just purchased a glass cutter and some tranquilizing
darts. I tried one on my roomate and he was seriously
groggy and quite inept to continue his daily routine
rituals. In some ways, humans are like animals that
should be in captivity, especially pairs that were
meant to be together in a intimate relationship like
me and her. "


Okay, I exaggerated just a *bit* on that one only to
prove a point. Most people have not had training in
how to conduct themselves in person or elsewhere
usually crash and burn and it's now for all to see on
the net. Ah, the perfect P.T. Barnum social
observatory & innerworkings of a disintegrating mind
circus. Step right up...step riggggght up!

The good thing is you can hit the Google cache when
this person finally loses it. And then you can say to
friends and passerby's "I visited this guy's page. I
knew he was not stable even then."


3) People who reveal way too much every damn week on
their page/blog/journal fishing for a sympathy
reaction comment.

There should be a angry illustrated animated emoticon
that pops up and says, "Shut the fuck up!" Then maybe
people will realize they have "COMPLETELY" derailed
themselves and exposed too much. Some things are best
kept to yourself,ace.

4) Partying and Drinking references. "Yo, i party
hard." Oh really,what did you do? "Ummm ...I drank
alot yo and I rapped to 2 girls making out at a
lesbian bar. We were so definitely going to hook up."

Holy shit, better call Tom Sizemore because I think we
just found a new member of his entourage. So So so
ready for partying in the big leagues. Hit up Mischa
Barton and Pete Doherty. You are out of control,
chief!

5)Why does the majority of the current adult male
population dress like 12 year olds?

Think about it for a second.

( I know it sounds like bad Comedy Central standup but
it's not) All that's missing is the denim jeans with
patches of hotrod's & footballs and the generic
baseball cap with Batman/WWF/Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles/Spiderman/NFL team that doesn't give a shit
about you (insert juvenile pop culture franchising
magnet here) maybe holding his deskwork in a Knight
Rider trapperkeeper.

Tilting your cap to the side makes you look like a
oversized baggy pants multi colored mallard. Do you
want to be a mallard? I didn't think so. That's not
"NEXT level" or "Original" to wear a baseball cap
titled to the side. What will you think of next?


Come to think of it, maybe they should just go all
out. Get the Zebra colored foot powered Scooter and
bitch why they can't get the definition of a "woman"
to pay attention to them other than
weedheads,backpackers or cleptos or heavyset pagan
psychotic gothgirls who wear too much dragon/skull
themed silver pewter jewelry and eyeliner.

I leave you with this: There's a child in all of us
but that doesn't mean he should be running around
yelling,bitching and being in general a spastic ass.
With that said, if you see one of these specimens at
social environment, I will not scold you for hitting
them with a blunt object profusely. And it would be
only the more fitting if a Common or a Tribe song was
playing in the background.